Smelly Sue's, Hairy Chests and Sharks, Koh Tao, Thailand

Jordi, George, Tom and I arrived on the popular diving island of Koh Tao completely wiped out from our Full Moon experience. We stupidly made the decision not to book ahead (we never learn) which lead to us staying in oddest accommodation yet. We dumped our backpacks in a cafe with Tom and George, looking up places online, while Jordi and I explored and tried to find somewhere central. Our one priority was air conditioning. After the sweatiest few days on Koh Phangan we needed COOL AIR. Jordi and I stumbled on one place with AC for a reasonable price. The handwritten price list was stuck to the reception desk with the final words '4 bed private room AC' scribbled out. It was the best price too. We asked about it. 'That one is no good,' said our new friend Sue, smiling. We asked why. She said the AC worked but it was dodgy. We pleaded with her to see it as it was the perfect size for us.

The room was on another scale of weird. It had two double beds made up from two double mattresses place on top of another mattress. No bed frame. We spotted te AC up high, below it was a randomly placed stand alone sink. The other corner of the room (this room had about ten) had a chest of drawers with picture frames of dead moths placed on top and next to the drawers there was another double mattress on it's side propped up against the wall. There was also an unearthly stench coming from the bathroom. It smelt like someone had wet themselves in there and died (or been killed?). Like actual pee and dead body smell. Or that's what I imagine the combination of those two things to smell like. And, of course, how could we ignore the room's centre piece; a fan the size of a small wind turbine (see above). Jordi and I looked at each other thinking the same thing, we turned to the woman. 'But the AC works right?' 'Oh yes, yes, it just leaks a little bit..'

We negotiated a cheaper price for the stinky leaky room and went back to Tom and George at the cafe to see if they'd found anything and give them our verdict. 'So we've found a private room that'll fit all of us and it's cheap.' 'Perfect!' 'Yes but there are couple of things you should know-' And as we tried to describe the room Jordi and I cracked up, realising for the first time how ridiculous it actually was. But we'd intrigued the others by this point. 'Smelly, stinky Sue's it is!' Jordi cried out as we picked up our bags. We were knackered and so desperate to pass out on a bed. As we returned to the hostel and handed over the money Crazy Sue was laughing to herself. She genuinely couldn't believe her luck at being able to sell the room. She even shared the good news with a neighbour passing by as she handed over the key. She pointed at us and started cackling again, her friend joined in, finding it hysterical. We didn't need to be fluent in Thai to know that she'd said 'these idiots actually requested the leaky room that stinks of piss!' Or quite possibly, 'they're staying in the room where I killed that guy who wet himself!'

Tom and George gagged as they experienced the rotting body/pee smell for the first time. We turned the AC on and it leaked water a lot. 'Errr..' We all said looking at the mess it was making on the floor below. 'I'll get a bucket!' Maniacal Sue ran off laughing. She placed the giant bucket precariously on the sink below, half on, half off. We waited to see if it woul fall.

The room actually turned out to be fine in the end, as long we kept the loo door closed and remembered to empty the bucket of AC water regularly. We only had one spillage, it got knocked off the sink and it went all over Tom's freshly laundered clothes. He was a good sport about it though. Oh, also, I think my real favourite part was when I found Sue's murder weapon. I thought the room couldn't get weirder until I opened the chest of drawers and what did I find in the top, the sole item? A broken hand whisk. I mean, WT actual F?!?

So we tried our hand at scuba diving, supposedly the cheapest place in the world to learn. I was initially a bit nervous having never been before but it was a lot of fun and so cool - George and I were dive buddies while the others went together with the boys' friend Jade who'd joined us. We got told by our dive master we were so good it was like diving with people who wee already qualified! We saw lots of beautiful fish, a seahorse, a sting ray. We loved it. However, as cool as it was it didn't compare to our awesome trip to Koh Nangyuan, an even smaller island just off Koh Tao's coast. Almost as an after thought we brought snorkels and we were so glad we did.

After 20 mins seeing the massive range of colourful fish just a few steps out from the shore, Jordi surfaced shouting, 'I've just seen a shark!!' I absolutely and completely did not believe him. No chance. It was a beach for swimming and the sea had such shallow waters. I thought he was pulling my leg as usual but when he ran to shore to grab his Go Pro camera and started shouting to the others I started to believe him. 'Where did it go?!' 'I don't know as soon as I saw it I freaked out and swam in the opposite direction!'

*Not a shark - George searches the shallow waters.

So we went shark hunting. On the basis of absolutely nothing, we quickly assumed that they were in no way a threat to us and not man-eating (only later that night we found this to be true, they were Black Tip reef sharks). I kept seeing shark like shapes in the distance but wasn't fully convinced they were there until one swam about 3 feet in front of me. My heart stopped as I watched it swim past. An actual shark! It must have been 4ft long?! It completely made our day, it was the first time any of us had seen sharks in the wild before. We didn't manage to get a picture in the end but below is what we found and you can pretend we took it ourselves..

Too quickly the time had come to say goodbye to my faves as Tom and I were heading to Malaysia next, we

both had flights out from Kuala Lumpur. 'You're not one of those that cry are you?' Jordi asked as we waited for our pick up. As I'm sure you all know, I 100% am that type of person but I chose to be stubborn and kept it together.

Our last day in Thailand.

Over our time together they'd given me a series of semi-offensive nicknames: hairy Mary, stressy Eli, stinky Eli (?) and they also liked to spread rumours with every new person we met claiming shit like I have a hairy chest. This got so bad one time we were in a circle of about 15 strangers and they introduced me quietly to someone as 'stressy Eli.. oh and she's got a hairy chest.' To which I instantly took the bait and screamed, 'I DO NOT HAVE A HAIRY CHEST!'. And of course at that exact moment there was a lull in every single conversation in that circle. Everyone turned to look at me. 'Alright Eli, calm down, no need to stress.'

Despite the above, it was definitely one of the hardest goodbyes I've said - I'd travelled with these two for a couple of months - we'd had such a laugh with barely any arguments (I won't mention the vodka-in-eye sitch Jordi) and well, essentially at that point in time I just couldn't imagine travelling on without them. I was also concerned about how they'd cope without each other. What is Ant without Dec? Dick without Dom? Richard without Judy? Without anymore ego-boosting, their heads are big enough already - I know I'll be seeing them again. We've got plans for Harry Potter World 2016 that can't be broken. Actual BFFs, I love em and miss em big time.

They waved good-bye with obscene hand-gestures as our pick-up truck came to collect Tom and I and we set off to embark on the most ridiculous, sketchiest journey I've had to date...

#kohtao #thailand #travelling #hostellife #sharks #snorkelling #scubadiving #hairychests